 |
Starring: Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols
Director: Stephen Sommers
Genre: ActionBig, loud and recycled, this movie based on the popular toy line would have played better if it hadn't been released in the same year as a Transformers movie. Hardware overload, now.
Release Date: 6-Aug-2009
URL: http://www.gijoemovie.com/
Language: English
Distributor: United International Pictures
| Synopsis: |
A crooked arms dealer plans to unleash a superweapon upon an unsuspecting world, and only the elite military force known as G.I. Joe stands in his way.
My Comment/Review(s):Starring: Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols
This one might have played better if it hadn't come out at the tail end of a hardware-laden, explosion-torn summer from the likes of Terminator Salvation and, of course, Transformers: ROTF.
Right, that last one means it's all on Hasbro for getting TWO effects-heavy blockbusters into theatres not just in the same year but in the same season.
If you haven't been suffering from hardware overload since Transformers: ROTF, this one will surely drive that railroad spike all the way home into your skull.
 |
| NINJA JOES: 'You can get mad all you want, Snake-eyes, but I know the truth ... those pectorals aren't real, they're molded into your body armour!' |
Don't blame anyone but yourself; you know what you're letting yourself in for when you go for G.I. Joe: TRoC, a big, loud hodge-podge of recycled action scenes from various CGI-enhanced blockbusters of the past.
There's no room for the real world in this cartoon universe where the good guys wear black and the bad guys have hearts so black, that they were even killers as little kids.
The Joes – based on the Hasbro action figures and resulting cartoon/comic series – are an elite military force made up of top warriors from all over the world. Their nemesis, as yet unnamed in this "origin" movie of sorts, is an evil organisation funded by the world's largest arms manufacturer.
 |
| SECRET OF HER SUCCESS: 'And my strut is why I'm No. 2, Zartan, and you're just a jabroni who stands around gawking at stuff.' |
The tale is simple enough: there are these four warheads of enormous destructive potential which said arms maker intends to use against an unsuspecting world. They're filled with millions of deadly little nanobots, which are like manmade versions of those nasty world-ending buggers from The Day the Earth Stood Still remake.
And of course, said arms dealer's army of super-soldiers, plain old mercenaries, plus his hired uber-ninja and lovebird femme fatale, clashes with the Joes who are sworn to protect all that's good, bright, noble and freedom-loving in the world.
I went into the first Transformers movie a non-fan who got blown away and had a fantastic time. With G.I. Joe, the experience was not nearly as enjoyable; I went in as a non-fan and left feeling only somewhat entertained.
The good: the butt-kicking gals (Miller and Nichols) and their, er, form-fitting wardrobes; the ninjas (Lee and Park) and their whirlwind duels; and …uh, that's it, really.
The rest of the film is taken up with a lot of posturing, a couple of interesting gun battles, and one totally overblown chase scene through Paris that seems even less necessary than your appendix.
Most of this "epic" conflict is seen through the eyes of two new Joe recruits, Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans). Duke is important to the team because he's got past history with the evil Baroness (Miller), while Ripcord … let's just say his skills are needed for the finale.
G.I. Joe: TRoC is not the train wreck that those early Internet rumours made it out to be, but most of the interesting bits – the characters' respective backstories, the sowing of seeds for their respective conflicts, etc – are crowded out to the edges of the frame by all that excess.
 |
| TAKE THAT, PISA: 'Now, those Italians aren't the only ones with a leaning tower! Oops! Er, maybe we overdid the leaning bit.' |
For example, Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow's first meeting is a somewhat unsettling whirlwind of two little boys trying to kill one another followed by a bizarre moment when a monk, an apparent relic from the TV series Kung Fu, shows up and starts spouting … well, Kung Fu stuff.
And when you talk excess, there's that whole Paris chase sequence that wears out its welcome after they've gone a few blocks. Really, there are more suspenseful ways to film a pursuit; to just pack it with dozens of hurtling and exploding vehicles reeks of … sheer cinematic laziness.
But, why am I griping? It's almost a given that the hordes will just eat this up. Perhaps not on the level of those transforming robots, but well, that's probably just because they're molded in a different scale.
Surfing: http://www.gijoemovie.com/
Making The Grade:
No comments:
Post a Comment